If the Fiat is a-rockin'... don't come a-knockin'

One of the most enjoyable parts of living in a foreign culture is the humor associated with experiencing customs that are new and strange to me. I know my brother Ryan had the same feelings about his time in Germany, but unfortunately he didn’t have another American over there to share the laughs with. Hopefully some of you American readers will enjoy a few of these amusing experiences during my extended stay here in Italy.

The incident that inspired the title of this post and is featured in the picture above is a very interesting practice here in Naples. I’ll start by explaining that Italians are much more willing and likely to live at home until an older age than we are in the States. It is perfectly normal for men in their late 20’s to live with their parents, in fact I would say that most of the guys that age on my team are still in school and/or living at home.

While this practice certainly has its benefits (I know my mother would love to have all her boys at home!), it does create some problems for those guys who have girlfriends and are seeking a little privacy. So, couples who want their “alone time” often resort to, you guessed it… the back seat of a car. But here’s the good part. They don’t try to park in some secluded place off the beaten path, but rather along the side of a few particular roads with newspapers up in the windows. Travel down one of these Lovers’ Lanes a couple hours after dusk and you’ll literally see cars lined up for a mile, all with newspapers and steamy windows like a “Do Not Disturb” sign on a hotel doorknob. Thanks to my brother Dan for the picture… he was the only one with the guts to get close enough to snap a shot.

I enjoy the way Italians communicate. It’s dramatic, intense, and usually seems like far too many words are used to deliver the desired message. The theatrical nature of the conversation combined with the zealous hand gesturing, facial expressions, and the rhythmical cadence of their language make mundane conversations seem very passionate. I don’t know how many times I’ve observed a conversation that I thought surely was a bitter argument or intense debate, only to realize it was a discussion of the weather or a visit to the market earlier that morning. It’s also still funny to me to hear Italian expressions on the sidelines of a football game. I crack a smile when I hear a “Mamma mia!” after a big hit or a “Bellissimo, Max!” after a good pass. I’ll admit I’m joining in, though. I definitely hand out my fair share of “bravo’s” during a game.

Fashion is a very important part of life here. I never see people dressed down. Never see guys in town with sweats and a hoodie… never see girls walking around in flip flops and shorts. Even the basketball courts where we play pick-up are littered with guys in jeans and button-downs. Brennan, Elisa (an American friend of ours), and I played a basketball game a few weeks ago against three Italian dudes, one of which was rocking some Armani skinny jeans! Unfortunately for him, not only did he lose the game… but he split a massive hole in the crotch of his jeans while chasing after the ball about halfway through the game. There’s also an “in-style” color here in Naples… which is purple. When I first got over here I was shocked to walk by big store windows filled with only purple attire.

Yesterday morning, we were enjoying a sunny day down on Via Napoli… shooting some hoops and reading by the sea. We met some young teens who wanted to play a game of basketball with us. My favorite was Marco. He was a short, chubby 13-year-old whose entire outfit was a few sizes too small (at least from an American point of view). Marco wasn’t blessed with a whole lot of athleticism either… he fell down every time he ran more than five consecutive steps… and then took a minute or two to peel himself off the court. What made the sight of Marco even funnier was his tight black t-shirt that was tucked into his underwear, of which several inches were visible because his jeans wouldn’t stay up. It was quite a sight.

It seems like every day I come across something makes me laugh and wish my friends were here to laugh with me. I catch them up on some of it when I email, facebook, or skype with them… but I’ll definitely have some good stories for when I return home.

Down Goes Rome: A Running Diary

Sunday was quite a day. We had our first home game in three weeks against our rival, the Gladiatori from Roma. So here’s a little running diary of the 20-hour day, in honor of one of my favorite sports writers, Bill Simmons.

9:30 am: Roll out of bed. At first glance, it looks we might have some nice weather on our hands.

9:40 am: Special K Classico and a cappuccino. Besides drinking an espresso or cappuccino every morning, Brennan and I don’t really do the “Italian” breakfast. We stick to cereal or scrambled eggs. Seriously though, an espresso maker will be one of my first purchases back in the States. I’m addicted.

9:45 am: Just joking about the good weather… it has started sprinkling already.

10:00 am: Crack open the laptop. Check email, Facebook, Deadspin… in that order.

10:10 am: Found a good article on espn.com.

(Speaking of sports, it’s obviously been hard keeping up with what’s going on while I’m over here. Fortunately this time of year is pretty lame for sports. Though, I certainly regret missing what sounded like one of the best NCAA basketball tournaments in years. I only caught the last ten minutes of the Duke’s win over Butler. And, I would have definitely liked to see Phil Mick win the Masters again. Also, I’m pretty frustrated by Ben Roethlisberger. He just doesn’t look or act like a franchise quarterback sometimes. And how about the greased mullet he sported in his interview on national television about the allegations? I hope he gets his act together. Also… ciao Santonio Holmes. Thanks for Super Bowl XLIII.)

10:45 am: Hop in the shower, which is too small for either of the two guys living in this apartment. There’s just not a lot of room to move around or bend over to reach your legs. As Brennan said when we first arrived… “Looks like I’ll have dirty shins the whole time I’m over here.”

11:20 am: Ready to go. I’m in the game-day frame of mind. Humming Jay-Z in my head. Pacing the apartment.

11:39 am: Ok, finally in the car ready to go. I’m driving. Light rain, mid 50’s. The team is meeting at noon. Let’s go kick some Roman butt!

11:52 am: We get on the Tangenziale, which is the toll highway that runs through Naples. Traffic is a little busier than average because a few of the exits are closed off for a marathon running through the city.

11:59 am: “That was our exit,” says Brennan pointing to the off ramp that I’m flying by. Grande.

12:02 pm: We take the next exit and immediately hit a long line of traffic. Brennan starts receiving calls from players who will be late (it’s our team policy to let the coach know if you won’t make it on time). He assures them we’ll be late too.

12:06 pm: Still sitting in the same line. Starting to fume just a little bit.

12:12 pm: Get back on the Tang heading the other way. Neither of us are familiar with this stretch of road. We miss our exit again from the other side. It’s ok, we’ll just hop off at the next one… oh wait it’s closed. No big deal, we’ll just hop off at the next one... OH WAIT IT’S CLOSED! ARE YOU SERIOUS?

12:18 pm: We take an exit we’ve never taken before. Oh, there’s the hospital… so we know where we are, it’s just nowhere near where we need to be. After being lost for a few minutes, we’re back on the Tang where we quickly reach our exit.

12:31 pm: I take an off ramp a little too aggressively and start skidding out of control. I rock the wheel back and forth and the tires eventually catch the pavement just before we hit the guardrail. I immediately start cracking up… this has been quite drive!

12:34 pm: Thank the Lord we made it to the stadium. My heart is still racing from the near-accident. I walk over to a nearby café for an espresso. A couple of my receivers are in there. They ask me if it’s a good idea to drink a Coke before the game… you know… for extra energy. I just shake my head and they settle for a candy bar. Mamma mia!

12:42 pm: Head to the locker room. Kickoff is at 2:30ish (We’ve never started a home game on time).

1:00 pm: First group on the field. We’re trying new kickers and punters this week because Freak is out with a leg injury. The field is damp but it’s barely drizzling. Not bad!

(When I say “field” I really mean an area of dirt with some grass along the edges. For some reason, our field is almost completely grass-less this year.)

1:25 pm: Warm up gets kicked into a higher gear. I’m pumped… wishing I could suit up today! After warm up we head back into the locker room for a short talk and prayer.

2:20 pm: Our return to the field is greeted by a downpour. It doesn’t look like it’s going to let up anytime soon. Looks like we'll be playing in a mud bowl.

2:30 pm: Ready for kickoff! Emotions are high! Naturally, we’re delayed because the ambulance has yet to arrive.

2:41 pm: Opening kickoff is a good one… a touchback.

2:42 pm: The weather is a factor on the very first play of the game as Rome fumbles the snap and we recover on the 17 yard-line. It’s the first of probably 14 fumbles between the two teams during the game. We run it down inside the five and settle for a field goal. It’s our first successful field goal or extra point of the season.

3:45 pm: We head into halftime with a 3-0 lead. We’ve moved the ball well on offense, fumbling in the red zone once and missing a short field goal on the last play of the half. Rome’s offense can’t do anything against our defense. Passing is just about impossible in these conditions. I’ve got two ball boys running a new ball in every play, but we’re literally playing in a mud pit at this point. Part of me thinks this game might end with a score of 3-0.

4:00 pm: Our opening drive of the second half ends with a fumble.

4:25 pm: The punter for Rome just tracked down a bad snap and kicked the ball off the ground like a soccer player (quite successfully, I might add). Brennan tries to explain that this is illegal. Later we get called for a “push in the back” while on defense. We’re stunned and, at this point, the head official is almost in tears.

(When I visited Germany last summer to watch my brother, Ryan, play I thought the officiating was abysmal. But now, I’d have to say that it’s far superior to the refereeing in Italy. There’s four or five you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me moments with these officials EVERY GAME!)

4:30 pm: We take over on offense at the start of the fourth quarter on our own 14 yard-line. We begin literally smashing the ball down the throat of the Rome defense. Wedge, Power, Wedge, Toss, Power, Trap, Wedge. I’m rotating linemen every play. My fullback, Tommy (who wears #36, by the way), is playing like Jerome Bettis! He’s complemented by Paolo’s speed on the outside. We march the ball down, not passing once, and Freak makes a Willis Reed-like return for a two-year touchdown plunge to seal the victory. What a fun way to the end the game! The surge from the offensive line was incredible. As a former offensive lineman, you couldn’t wipe the smile off my face with a 2x4.

4:45 pm: FINAL: Napoli 9, Roma 0. Post-game antics include running mudslides. Brennan and I join in the fun… I don’t know if our sweatshirts will ever be white again.

4:55 pm: I randomly have a change of clothes in my bag from the day before. Crucial. Brennan doesn’t so we jet out of there before he begins suffering from hypothermia. We’re feeling good… this is our first win in almost a month. I wish my girl was here with me!

6:05 pm: Showered, dry, and warm. We go grab a pizza… Margherita con melanzane for me. Then we head to Squeak’s apartment to chill out. Squeak is a friend of ours in the Navy whose apartment makes ours look like a storage closet… plus he’s got ESPN. He leaves his keys with us when he’s out of town and we occasionally make ourselves at home. This time, he returned home while we were there so we talked football, Italy, San Fermin… and watched some Dexter.

10:20 pm: We head back to our apartment and chill out. Jes calls me on Skype and we talk for a little bit. Then I Skype with Krista, who’s flying over here to visit in May after VES graduation.

11:30 pm: Time to start getting ready to meet the guys at the Covo. Brennan is passed out in the bedroom. I’m feeling a little tired too.

11:45 pm: I put on some coffee… we’re both going to need it.

12:28 am: We park the car near a large group of Briganti smoking up outside the Covo. They’ve been out for awhile and look like they’re feeling good. We enter the club to lots of hugs and kisses. Drinks are quickly poured. They guys are dancing on the tables. “I gotta feelin’…ooo ooo… that tonight’s gonna be a good night….”

12:45 am: A lot of our players are fraternizing (or at least trying to) with members of the cheerleading squad. They’re warriors and lovers!

1:05 am: “Heeeeeeeey, hey baby! (Oooh… Ahhh) I wanna knoooooooow if you’ll be my girl!!!!”

2:10 am: Most of the non-Briganti crowd has left. But the guys are still going hard. No girls around? No worries… that doesn’t stop the dance party.

2:25 am: I’ve never celebrated like this after a win. I can’t wait until we win a playoff game or something.

2:50 am: Smoking a Cuban Monticristo outside with Alex. Delicious!

3:05 am: We stop at an all-night food stand for some comfort food. Pastries with nutella or crème… waffles filled with white and dark chocolate… too much!

3:55 am: Finally get home and get ready for bed. I email Monica, hoping she’ll be around to Skype before I fall asleep.

4:02 am: Aaaaaaaand she is!! I’m so happy I can end this day talking to her. We talk about the day each of us had, about how much we miss each other, and debate the meaning of the word “yet,” among other things. Thank God for Skype!

6:00 am: As I tell Monica good night and that I love her, I see the sky starting to lighten outside my window… here comes the Monday morning sun. What a day.

Catching up...

To my four or five faithful readers out there…. Sorry I’ve been out of touch for so long. I will be more active in my blogging for the remainder of my stay here. Speaking of which, I’ll hit the halfway point of my time in Italy in just five days. It’s amazing to think that I only have two months left in this adventure. My emotions will be mixed when it’s time to say goodbye… I’m developing good friendships over here, and yet there are things and people that I’ll be eager to get home to.

Obviously a lot has happened since I last wrote. I’ll mention some highlights. Those of you who know me, know that I’m a very relational person… so, obviously my best times here are those spent in the company of friends. Brennan and I have made a few trips to Pompei to visit our friend Saverio (and others). Each time we’re treated to a remarkable meal (usually seafood) and great conversation. I’ve also had a chance to spend a few nights playing cards with some of the players, which is fun because, as we all know, poker is an international language! I’ve also been playing a lot of basketball down on the courts on Via Napoli, which is a street not far from our apartment that connects Pozzuoli to Napoli. There are two really nice courts right on the sea and we occasionally are able to get a decent game of 3-on-3 going.

Easter weekend was a good time for me. We went to a Good Friday service in Pompei that was beautiful. The service took place outside the lovely church on the town’s square. The Bishop and those participating processed around the square during the service, stopping at placards that depicted different scenes of Christ’s trial, execution, burial, and resurrection. Needless to say, the service was followed by an unbelievable seafood dinner (the picture above was taken after that great meal). The next day, we hit up a beach for some sun, though the breeze made it a little too chilly for all-day event. That night we met up with some players for a night at the Covo, which is a club owned by one of our linebackers. Fortunately, we were able to experience a Napolitan Easter supper on Sunday at the house of Stefano Ciotola, our tight end. His mother prepared a delicious meal and we washed it down with a lot of chocolate egg… it made me feel right at home. The Italians set aside the Monday after Easter (Pasquetta) as a holiday itself. The unofficial tradition is to travel to a nearby city to spend the day. We went with some players to Scauri, a coastal town a few hours north of Napoli for an all-day BBQ. Lots of fun! I tried to document the weekend in photographs and I’ve posted them on Facebook.

I’m writing this after our team’s third consecutive loss. This brings our record to 2-3 on the season. The first loss came to the defending league champion Bengals. The next two losses came on Saturday night games on the road. Now, these road night games are difficult for a few reasons. First, they’re usually in the range of 8-10 hours away… so we leave early Saturday morning, get off the bus, play a game, then hit the road only to return to Napoli sometime Sunday morning. Also, several of our starters are unable to play in Saturday night games because they can’t get off work. In the first night game, we lost to the Frogs, a team we should have easily beaten. Our offense was only able to muster a single touchdown in the game, bringing our grand total to just four touchdowns in four games! This greatly frustrated the offensive coordinator.

In our most recent game, the tables turned and we found ourselves in a shootout against the Red Jackets, the top team in our division. Finally, the offense clicked on all cylinders and it seemed like we couldn’t be stopped. Max, my quarterback, had his best game by far, throwing for two touchdowns and completing 9-of-10 passes as one point in the first half. Paolo, our running back, ran for two scores and our fullback, Tommy, ran one in and made a TD catch as well. Ciotola had at least six catches including a beautiful wheel route for a TD. For those of you reading that have ever played for or coached with me, you’ll be happy to know that the defense bit hard on the Jail Fox to open up an easy touchdown pass. Unfortunately, the opposing offense had an even better night and we lost by a score of 58-34. The losing streak has been frustrating for sure. Hopefully the offense can build on its success and the defense will return to its dominating ways and we’ll turn this ship around. We host the Gladiatori from Rome on Sunday… and the winning streak begins there.

I’m still very much enjoying the Italian culture. The language is coming slowly. My players assure me that I have a good accent… I just don’t know enough words! And I already know that I’m going to terribly miss the food here when I have to leave… so good. It’s also nice to live in a town in which most things are within walking distance. It’s not exactly enjoyable to drive in this place anyway, and I like being able to walk to the nearest salumeria or pizzeria or fruit stand or café or basketball court. I especially appreciate the warm, affectionate, considerate demeanor of the guys I coach. I wish we were more like this in the States.

I’ll leave by saying that in the last few weeks I’ve also begun to miss bits and pieces of home more and more. It’s mainly the relationships and being around friends that I miss. Of course I really miss my family, close friends, and Bishop. And of course it’s not easy being in a long-distance-relationship… I miss my girlfriend tremendously. And I miss little things like stopping in and chatting with Stike in his office every day. And shooting the breeze with Laf and D and Ben at lunch. And coaching the VES guys in lacrosse. And getting a group together to grub out at La Carreta. So, to all of you back in the States, I’m looking forward to hanging out this summer! Ciao!